fixing the tongue

Gentle words bring life and health; a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit. Proverbs 15:4 seems to be the “moral of the story” that Jarrod told about what it’s like to realize in a moment that you’ve been crushing someone else’s spirit by simply using words. It brought to my mind what Tom Brawner said once, almost offhandedly, during the middle of a prayer. He said, “And God? Help us to remember that the person to our left and the person to our right is an intentional creation.”

An intentional creation. That has stuck with me through some of my most impatient moments. And thank God, because if I were to judge myself by the same measuring stick that I sometimes use to judge others, I would fall painfully short. It’s a good thing that I have no business judging. I know for a fact that I can be (and usually am) annoying, impatient, inconsiderate, and inappropriate. I have plenty to work on in and of myself rather than using my energy to unfold and analyze other people’s shortcomings.

We’re all snobs about something. I get very sideways and cringe visibly when people mix up the use of “your” and “you’re.” I correct people when they misquote a movie. But I also realize that most often my clothes don’t match and if you mention anything about politics in my presence my eyes will glaze over. We’re also all sorely incompetent at something about which someone else is a snob.

So what do we do? How do we have real community if we’re all such snobs? Jarrod said it, we love. It’s a loaded word. And when we don’t feel love, then we do love. If the noun isn’t there, then we verb. Let me clarify: if I’m having a very hard time feeling all gushy and gooey inside for (insert name here), then instead of “biting and devouring” said person, I need to love him or her. Perform an act of kindness for him. Talk nicely behind her back. Build the person up in the presence of our peers. Focus on something that I admire about that person’s character. Our focus changes our perspective very quickly. All of a sudden, we want to apologize. All of a sudden, we feel love.

God is very gracious in this sense. He knows us all too well. He knows that even though he created us with a beautiful diversity, that we will get quickly annoyed with our differences. In my experience, if I make an effort—if I walk one mile, God will walk ninety-nine and meet me. He’s put love in my heart for people I never thought I’d be able to be in the same room with. Real love. Like, want-to-hang-out-with-them love.

So, is there someone in your life that you have dripping from your deceitful tongue? I’ve named mine. And I’m going to make intentional efforts to love this intentional creation. God never said community would be easy, but he did say it would be worth it.